Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Nothin' But A Hound Dog

Las Vegas is a uniquely decadent environment created by mobsters such as Bugsy Siegel and then artistically re-fashioned by visionaries like Steve Wynn.  The lure of something-for-nothing, of being promiscuous or over-indulgent; these are the concepts responsible for its nickname, "Sin City."

How the King of Rock-and-Roll has remained a constant fixture in the city's pop-culture is beyond my comprehension.  But there he is, enshrined by those hundreds of jumpsuited, sideburned, pompadoured Elvis impersonators.

Amongst this flock of "E-gulls," a few fly above the rest.  Their talent allows them entrance to a royal club of professional entertainers.  The throne in that club has always been the coveted Elvis spot in "Legends in Concert," a show which was at the Imperial Palace for over twenty years and now resides at Harrah's.

While most of the "Legends" acts rotated every few months, the Elvis was and is a permanent closing act, replete with huge set pieces, costume changes and multi-media support.  I too, was awarded the opportunity to be a permanent fixture in the "Legends" show for years.  This gift was bestowed upon me by John Stuart, the then show's creator/owner.  So, I experienced a firsthand view of the revolving door as numerous Elvi (plural) came and went.

For the most part, they were all great entertainers with good heads on their shoulders.  But, many years ago, there was one Elvis who really stood out, and not in a good way.  (IT IS NOT THE CURRENT ELVIS, WHOM I ADORE MADLY)  Over the years that we shared the same stage, he morphed into an egotistical, womanizing, cheating, degrading dick.  (I tried not to use the word "dick" because I like to think I'm eloquent enough to find a proper synonym.  But, "dick" is just too perfect for this guy.  Thus, the word stands.)

It was sad, really, because he started out with the promise of a young, handsome actor/singer with potential far beyond that of an impersonator.  Then, his wandering eye (and other parts) became as disgusting as his diva attitude.  I remember one night, he told the other impersonator acts that we were all merely opening acts for him!  What?

It is a professional courtesy that if you are going to change something in your act, you should first inform those involved in that act.  Well, one night, he decided to change the key on a song in his set.  He neglected to tell the two, young background singers of this change.  So, when that song played out in a higher key than the norm, those two, sweet girls were taken off guard.  They flubbed some of their parts, and understandably so.

To add insult to injury, this dick (oops, I said it again) proceeded to later ad-lib new words in the finale` of the show which verbally attacked (in song) the two, young singers!

I was livid both professionally and personally.  So, I took him aside backstage and told him these words:  "You are a star in this show and should lead by example.  First, it was unprofessional of you to change the key of your song without telling the singers.  But, to then degrade them publicly, in front of an audience who paid good money to hear you sing 'Viva Las Vegas' with the correct words rather than your 'let-me-tell-you-how-bad-the-singers-are' version, is just ridiculous!"

Of course, when you irritate a dick, it's bound to get bigger.  (Sorry, couldn't resist)  The next thing I know, he is in the wings while I'm doing my quick-change and he's literally blocking me from being able to make my entrance back onto the stage!

Oh, and then there's the time he thought it would be funny to kiss the top of my breastbone!  Excuse me?  I asked him how he'd like it if someone did that to his wife and then I hauled off and punched him in his stomach!  At least I aimed higher than where I wanted to hit him, but that's how I roll.  I try to take the higher road.

For the most part, the various Elvis impersonators with whom I have worked have been a sheer joy.  It's takes a whole lot of talent to step into the real King's blue suede shoes!  So, I'm happy to report that "one bad Elvis don't spoil the whole bunch!"  And it may even comfort you to know that Elvis impersonators, especially the great ones, are very special indeed!  I love all my Kings (and Queens) in Vegas!

The Beating Goes On

While some people find joy in being another person, I have found it to be a gilded cage.  Performers at large are easy prey for those with vampire personalities.  By vampire personalities, I am referencing those who feed off the talents of others while exploiting them for their own personal gain.

Yes, there are perks to being in a top impersonation show.  You make a good living for spending a short amount of time on stage.  You also get to bask in the wake of the real celebrity's fame.

Now, let's talk about the down side.   If you impersonate a character such as "Cher," it takes you over two hours to get into make-up, costume and wig.  Your make-up, costume and wig have a high dollar initial cost and a constant maintenance cost.  You have to diet and exercise all the time.  Since you are speaking and singing like someone else, your own voice gets jacked to the point of ruining it.  People look past you and only see another person.  You can sometimes lose yourself and your own talents.  You make other people a lot of money.  Those other people will usually play games with your head as a means of control.

Even with all of the down side to consider, it is still a much better way to earn a living than working four or five hour shifts in a lounge band.  Well, maybe not creatively speaking.  But, physically and financially speaking.

Looking back over the past twenty-something years of donning wigs, platform shoes and fake tattoos, I can honestly say I would have changed the way I did a few things.  Mostly, I would have found a way to create a better environment for my fellow impersonators so they would not have to come out the other side of their career with teeth marks on their necks.

If I sound bitter, please understand that I am both grateful and angry.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to have a better job than most.  I guess you'll have to read my blog to find out about the angry part.  I'll be filling you in on the roller coaster rides, the Nazi hotel owner, the nice producers, the not-so-nice producers, the crazy performers, the wanna-be performers, the amazingly talented performers, the divas, the audiences, the fans and more.  I'll recount stories, lament, vent and explore the age-old question, "To Cher or not to Cher."