What Men Should Know About Women

It has been said that "Women are from Venus and men are from Mars."  While there are several interesting tidbits to warrant such a statement, this slanted concentration on the DIFFERENCES may not be the answer toward a deeper understanding between men and women.  If it were, the deeper understanding would be more evident.  I don't see it yet.  So, there must be some missing information.

While there are differences in the BODY, and resultant differences in what society has enforced as acceptable BEHAVIOR regarding the two sexes, there are more SIMILARITIES than one might realize.

Let's start with the supposition that we are NOT our bodies, but that we are SPIRITUAL beings who inhabit bodies much like drivers who drive cars.  You don't have to believe that we are spiritual beings to see how workable it is.  Humor me and come along for the ride.

What are the three key ingredients in ANY relationship?  Do you know? 

COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!

Okay, so that sounds feasible, doesn't it?    But, now I must ask you, "Do you know the actual ingredients of an ideal cycle of communication?"  If you don't, then how are you going to control any of your communication cycles with another person, especially one of the opposite sex?

Just as the painter must know how to mix his paint colors and how to place those colors upon a canvass in order to obtain his ideal painting, so must the creator of a relationship know the tools of communication in order to obtain his ideal "painting."

It is this lack of understanding of the tools of communication which is responsible for ALL communication breakdowns!

Unfortunately, it takes TWO to tango.  So, all parties involved in any communication cycle need to know the tools in order to create the ideal result.  But for now, let's just deal with the communication between a man and a woman.

Usually, a man and a woman meet and talk.  If that goes well, they meet and talk some more.  If that goes well, they get romantic.  If that goes well, they date.  If that goes well, they get can get married.  If that goes well, they may have a family.  If all of that goes well, they do not divorce and live happily ever after.

Obviously, things don't always go well and relationships fail.  Could there possibly be some tools which could give someone a better chance to make a relationship succeed?  YES!

Let's start with a basic formula for the cycle of communication.  As with most of my information, it originates from my mentor, L. Ron Hubbard.  His definition of a communication cycle is as follows:

"Cause, Distance, Effect with Intention, Attention, Duplication and Understanding."

I know. That's a bit confusing at first.  So, let's just break it down for easier understanding.

Joe sees Mary at a party.  He's attracted to her.  So, he wants to begin or CAUSE a communication with her.  Mary is on the other side of the room.  So, Joe must make sure his communication reaches her over that DISTANCE.  Thus, he walks over to her rather than to yell or send her a note.

Now, he wants Mary to like him.  That is the EFFECT or result he hoping to obtain.  So, he uses his INTENTION (or desire to make it happen) and places his ATTENTION on her.  He then gets her ATTENTION by introducing himself and he hopefully finds out that she DUPLICATED exactly what he said and UNDERSTOOD it by introducing herself to him.

That's simple enough.  But, how could even this simple exchange of communication go wrong if one of those steps were not correctly done?  Let's take a look.

Joe sees Mary at a party.   He's attracted to her.  So, he wants to begin or CAUSE a communication with her.  Mary is on the other side of the room.  So, Joe must make sure his communication reaches her over that DISTANCE.  He is too shy to walk over to where she is standing.  So, he smiles at her from his side of the room.  She does not SEE the smile.  Thus, his communication did not travel the distance over to Mary.  JOE DID NOT GET HER ATTENTION FIRST!  You cannot communicate to a person without having their attention.

Okay, so let's say that Mary WAS looking at Joe when he smiled at her.  And then, let's say Mary turned away because she found Joe attractive but was embarrassed.  Joe did CAUSE the communication over the DISTANCE.  He had Mary's ATTENTION and his INTENTION was to create the EFFECT of her smiling back at him.  He did not get the desired EFFECT.  What part was missing here?

HE DID NOT DUPLICATE AND UNDERSTAND HER RETURN OF THE COMMUNICATION CYCLE.

Mary was the CAUSE of her response to Joe's smile.  That response was a shy turn of her head.  She had Joe's ATTENTION over the DISTANCE.  But, she lacked the INTENTION to create the EFFECT of showing Joe that she liked his smile.  Thus NO DUPLICATION OR UNDERSTANDING took place!!!!  Can you see that?  Not completing one part of this simple formula can create a total MISUNDERSTANDING.

If Joe knew the communication formula, he could have then wondered why she turned away rather than to assume she rejected his smile.  He may have walked over to her and introduced himself to see her response.  By further communication with ALL  the parts of the formula in tact, he could then know if Mary were really interested or not.  This one little item could be the difference between success and failure in creating a relationship.  But, I have more to "Cher..."



(If you find this topic of interest and wish to learn a few more tools on how to create a relationship as well as insight into the male/female roles, mental and emotional "filters," female expectations and others such tidbits, please leave a comment on my blog after first joining "google."  If I get enough comments and hopefully more people clicking the "FOLLOW" button to join my blog, I will CAUSE more communication over the DISTANCE of the net and "Cher" more personal insights regarding "What Men Should Know About Women.")

A "Va-J-J" With A Brain (Part Deux)

In part 1 of this post, I left off where I had just divorced my wonderful husband, Mark, in order to to find a relationship wherein I would be more validated as both a woman and as an artist.  I was still living in Los Angeles and wanted to become a rock/pop singer/songwriter. Determined to get to the top without having to sleep with anybody to get there, I now had to figure out a way to bypass the crowds of beautiful women anxiously awaiting their shot at the casting couch.  All I had was my faith in my own ability and a sincere spiritual belief that somehow, somewhere, I'd find someone of pure heart who would embrace my talent without ulterior sexual motive.

There was one other mountain to climb:  I had NO connections.

I got gigs singing in rock bands where we were lucky to make $50 a night on those rare occasions when we'd actually book a gig.  During the day, I worked in one of those "phone rooms" where a bunch of people called prospective businesses to sell them frisbees or pens with their business name printed on them.

I was pitching my original songs and got the opportunity to record some of them in a studio owned by the managers of the group, "Air Supply."  They loved my tunes and even said I had some hits.  But, they were getting out of the band biz and moving to New York City to pursue other creative aspirations.  They were at least kind enough to give me free use of their studio in the final weeks of its existence, which helped me to record a decent song demo reel.

I had also been singing in a "power rock" trio that eventually hired ex-"Runaway," Lita Ford,  to take my place.  At least you can stay pretty skinny when you don't have much money for food. 

Although I was a "rocker" with shagged hair, tough attitude and exuberant stage presence, I was offered a record deal as a COUNTRY artist.  What?  This "Ann Wilson-ish," "Pat Benetar-y," "Joan Jett-like" rocker from upstate New York was offered a COUNTRY record deal?  Me?  Are you kidding?

Country wasn't as cool in the 80s as it is today.  Had it been, I would have jumped on that offer.  But, instead of being grateful for that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, the ignorance of my youth felt I would have numerous other offers in the near future.  So, I turned it down with defiance.

Hindsight is 20/20.  I should have taken that opportunity and then crossed over into pop and rock after I had achieved some success in the country field.  I did not understand the concepts of PR, positioning and networking back then.  I wanted to HAVE HITS.  Be careful what you wish for...

In 1981, I was HIT by a car driven by an actor named, Mark Goddard.  Mark was a star of a TV series called, "Lost in Space."  After he hit me, I was truly lost in space for over a year.

 Mark Goddard from "Lost in Space"

While I am of the spiritual belief that I must have had some responsibility in getting hit by this man who ran a stop sign, I still cannot believe he did not even contact me after that to see how I was faring! His lawyer advised him against it.  So, there I was...ALONE...on a mattress on the floor of my apartment, with no means of support, in much pain and without the ability to even sign my name.  This professional actor ran a young singer down and then totally abandoned her for fear of some legal or financial retribution.  To this very day, I remain disappointed in his lack of compassion.  After a year of building back my mental capacity and physical strength, I was awarded the small sum of $30,000.  That was before the lawyer took his thirty percent.  Justice is sometimes blind.  But, I hope that one day, Mr. Goddard will want to make spiritual amends for that life-changing moment in 1981 when he smashed into my little yellow mustang and put my life on hold for such a long time.

That car wreck forced me to move back to Las Vegas and into the home of my dear mother, Louise.  There, I could try to mend my body, mind and spirit.

(Stay tuned for Part 3 of this story and others!  I hope you'll follow my blog by joining "google" and then pressing "Follow" on my blog.  There are many stories coming your way including the conclusion of the "Trading Spaces" TV reality show fiasco and the continuing journey of "A Hard-Rocked Life."  I look forward to seeing your picture in my "Followers" area!  Thanks so much!)

A "Va-J-J" With a Brain (Part 1)

(Me with my sweet friend, Merrill Osmond.  Sorry Merrill, for putting you on a post with the word "Va-J-J" on it...LOL!)

I may impersonate "Cher," but I have always admired the real "wise-crackin' dames" like Bette Midler,  the "broads" like Mae West and the strong women like Kate Hepburn.  At an early age, I felt the oppression of a male-dominated world.  It seemed like there was some sort of "cult" who believed that all dicks had brains and that a Va-J-J was merely storage space.   If I wanted to climb a career ladder, I had to make a choice:

"Do I want to sleep with men in order to control them, or do I want to outsmart them in order to obtain some control?"

I wasn't a bad looker in my youth and could have done well by the first route.  But, I just couldn't do it.  My 163 I.Q. was aching to outsmart the male-dominated music business. So, I decided to find a way to use my brains rather than my looks.  In hindsight, it would have been much easier to just sleep with 'em since their "cult" was adversely opposed to a Va-J-J with a brain.  Fame and fortune could have been mine by simply staying horizontal in a business meeting.  There were several filthy rich suitors.  Instead, I went for the poetic musician types, God love 'em!

In the late 1970's, I moved to L.A. with my first husband, Mark.  He had the most magnificent singing voice I had ever heard.  I decided to put my own career on hold while I used my brains to assist with his career.  After all, I was already sleeping with him. Once he was famous, I was IN!

Not only did Mark have a magnificent voice, but he was a male of the species.  I thought it would be an easier way to navigate through the "cult."  So, I styled this sweet, mid-Westerner from conservative "boy-next-door" to "smokin' hot rock star."   It was an easy makeover because he had the goods!

Playing the role of manager to an up-and-coming rock star was an interesting undertaking!  I was in my early twenties and had absolutely no experience in this sort of thing.  But, I had balls and a belief in Mark's undeniable talent.  Soon, Mark was playing in some of the more notable rock clubs like the Starwood.  I knew it would be just a matter of time before someone with the right connections would hear him and we'd be on our way.  I remember telling him that he should just walk into Capitol Records and start singing in the lobby.  If I had his instrument, that's exactly what I would have done.

After nearly five years of marriage, the role of "manager" began to take its toll on my inner artist.  I needed to take back that part of me which had gotten lost in Mark's shadow; even though it was a beautiful shadow indeed.  I went on the road singing in a top 40 band. Shortly thereafter, we were divorced and I was now faced with a new decision of how to outsmart the "cult."

Mark and I have remained close friends to this day.  In fact, he is now my best girlfriend. But, that's a different story and you can read about that on my other posts titled, "A Hard Rocked Life."  I'll be back with more on this one in a few days.






(To find out what happened next and to read more of my stories, please join "google" and then press "FOLLOW" to join my blog.   I hope to see you here again!)

Do You Believe? (How to Rekindle a Goal)

(Claude Monet's Water Lily Pond in France)

Just as the great French artist, Monet, created his own Water Lily pond in order to paint it, I believe most people want to create something special within their lifetime.  They yearn for a sense of accomplishment; a reason for having lived.  It is that inner drive which propels us toward our heart's desires.  But for some, that inner drive gets beaten down so many times that the light within it simply burns out.  Failure upon failure upon failure stack up and smother a person's goals to death.

This is where you have the drunk at the bar who complains about how everyone is against him while he numbs the pain with a six-pack or two.  This is the place where a person, so afraid of having one more failure,  would choose to throw a friend under the bus rather than have to start over one more time.  This is where a lie becomes the only form of creativity and the liar walks a tight rope over a dark abyss.

Have you ever seen what happens when you put someone filled with the joy of creating, next to someone who doesn't give a damn?  What do you think would happen?  Would the joyous person lift the apathetic nay-sayer upward into a level of interest?  Or, would the reverse eventually ensue?

Let me put it another way.  Say you are a singer ready to perform in a show.  And, let's say your sound man is not the brightest star in the sky.  Is your wonderful performance going to enhance his apathetic sound?   Or, is his apathetic sound going to downgrade your wonderful performance?  Now, you're getting the picture.

So, what do you do when your power is being diminished by those who vibrate at a much lower frequency around you?  You have two choices.  You can either handle the scene by replacing those lower-level persons with those of a like energy, OR you can get out of Dodge on a swift horse.  Don't think for a minute that things will change on their own.  THEY WON'T!

I have seen so many wonderfully talented artists/performers who have gotten stuck in shows where their gorgeous artistry has been degraded much like placing a moustache on the Mona Lisa.  I have personally witnessed this numerous times in my over twenty years as a top impersonator, and for over twenty years before that while performing in school plays, biker bars, casino lounges, showrooms and more.

I cannot tell you how many times I had to fight with the male leader of the band, in which I was the "chick singer," to turn my microphone up!  (Can I have a "high five," ladies?)

Oh, and one of my more recent favorites was when I was working in a show in Vegas and they had me choreographed in an area on the stage that had absolutely NO monitor coverage whatsoever!  Now, how's that for production expertise?

Then, there are those special memories where you are "too hip for the room" and get devoured by those who are threatened by your power.  That is always delightful...

Here's the bigger point I am trying to make.  All of those times when you've had to battle with the lower-level beings who have degraded you in one way or another, well, those times act exactly like FAILURES which pile up, one on top of the other, upon YOUR goals!  Do you see that?  All of those times when you've gone out there with the intention to kick major ass, only to have someone else cause your work of art to become less...well, those become failures for YOU.

Okay, so you still have the desire to create something with your talents.  But, it may not have all the zest behind it that it once had.  There have been too many times you've tried to create magic and have been stopped or hindered by someone else.  So, now you just roll with the punches and accept that you are not talented enough or not connected enough or not "something else" enough.  Well, I'm here to tell you that the only thing that has been wrong this entire time is that you did not have the ideal situations in which to create your art.

I remember being privileged enough to sing on a superstar's PA system, microphone, monitors and such, with a top sound man in a hall that seated fourteen-thousand people.  OMG!  It was my first time ever being able to experience the IDEAL SCENE in all of its glory!  I sounded like a superstar when I sang through that system.  And you know what?  I had fourteen thousand people light their lighters and hold them up for ME!  But, when I most recently sang in that Vegas show in an area of the stage where there was NO monitor coverage and with the sound being horrific, well, my own sister said I did not sound like me at all.

If you ever believed you had the talent to create something special in this world, well I want you to know that God would not have given you that desire if you did not have something in you worthy of it!


You might be thinking, "But, I'm too old now...or out of practice...or it's been too long...or I just don't have the drive anymore."  That PURPOSE which once fueled your desire just needs to be rekindled!  Ask yourself, "Why did I want to do that thing in the first place?  Why?  What was the purpose behind it?"  Find the answer to THAT, and then hold onto that purpose for dear life.  If no one did that, there'd be nothing hanging in the Louvre...

(The Louve Museum.  Paris, France)

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

Have you heard the song "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves?"  Well, the lyrics talk about selling "another bottle of Dr. Good."  What I'd like to talk about is the selling of a "bill of goods" by those not-so-honest folks who look out for number one to the detriment of others. 

I recently felt like someone cut off my left foot while giving me a shoe to cover the right foot, and then told me I should be thankful for the one right shoe!  WHAT?  Really?

On top of that, I was one of the few willing to "sweep up the blood" of not only my own foot, but of the other feet that had been cut off as well.  I saw a bloody floor, so I picked up a mop.  Do you know that even people with severed feet do not think highly of a person coming in to clean up their blood?

There will always be people who will try to take advantage of you.  You just have to know how to recognize them when you see them.   So, I thought I'd give you a few pointers.

A truth which you might find very useful, states:  "Wherever you find a carping criticism about you by another, you will also find an underlying hidden transgression against you by that carping critic."  Let me give you an example.  You hear that Joe Blow is saying nasty things about you.  Your first instinct is to defend yourself against those nasty lies, right?   Well, since truth always has to exist for a lie to come along to twist it, your first action would be to place the truth where the lie now sits.  Do this by gathering actual data to combat the lie and present it in a sane manner.  This should at least expose the lies as such.

However, behind every lie or horrible criticism, there is a hidden transgression against you.  Did you get that?  If someone is dissing you, well, they've done something TO YOU or someone in their memory like you!   Joe Blow is saying nasty things about you behind your back?  Find out what Joe Blow has done TO YOU that he is hiding!   Bring that out into the open and clear it up, and you now have a clean canvass on which to paint.

Okay, so you might ask, "Well, all I did was help and I got slammed for it.  How does that fit into this?"  I will tell you how.

Remember earlier how I was using the analogy of my "cleaning up everyone's blood?"  What if, intentionally or even non-intentionally, the someone who was criticizing you had some piece of responsibility in the initial bloodshed itself?  Hmmmm.  What if they felt guilty to some degree over the bloodshed and then you come in like Florence Nightingale with a big mop and start mopping?  Are they going to be grateful or are they going to feel like you grabbed the very mop THEY should have picked up themselves?  Or, if they are partly responsible for the bloodshed, then they now feel more guilty for whatever they DID to create it.  So, the person cleaning up becomes a target of that guilt.

I know.  So, that's why you think that you should just stop helping in order to cover your own butt.    If you do that, you will just be hand-cuffing your own hands...

The answer to anything is to communicate, communicate, communicate.   People are basically GOOD!  If they weren't, they would not feel guilty for anything, now would they?  So, you are actually doing them a favor by purging them of that thing for which they feel guilty.  It is very freeing for them, and thus for you!  But, it is not easy to get through a lightning storm.

A good friend, Hollie, shared some Native American wisdom last night.

She asked me, "Is it better to be a Buffalo or a Cow?"

I replied that I did not know, and she then said, "In a lightning storm, the cow runs from the lightning chasing it, but the buffalo runs through the storm and past it."

"I guess I'd rather be a buffalo!"


I don't think that PEOPLE are the "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" of our lives.  I think the lack of understanding of true communication, along with the mechanisms of transgressions and their resultant behavioral patterns, are the real culprits!

Jesus said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Shakespeare said, "The criminal doth protest too much!"

L. Ron Hubbard said, "Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause."

I say, "Do not just blame others for your own condition.  Learn how to unravel the ingredients of any given situation by understanding all the parts.  Through knowledge and responsibility we can all be more responsible for our fellows and control the lives of all concerned toward a better future!"

Live, learn, grow, love, prosper in all areas.  We are the captains of our own ship.  It is our responsibility to know how to read the map.  Happier sailing to you all!

Trading Spaces: Elvis versus Cher (Part 2: The Shocks and Hard Knocks)

On part 1 of this story, we left off where my husband, Gene, and I were now at Matt and Janell's house with the eccentric designer, Hildi, who was known for placing furniture on a ceiling and straw upon a wall.

Matt and Janell were now at our home with designer, Doug Wilson, who was known to have a reputation of good taste.  So, we were not as worried for ourselves as we were for our counterparts.

Janell had said she didn't want them changing her wall color because she loved the shade of green.  So, I was taken back when Hildi said she was going to do something special to the walls.

"But, Janell said she wanted to keep the green color," I stated with fearful anticipation.

Let's just say that I soon found out Gene and I really had no input on the design of the room whatsoever and that it had all had been pre-planned from the start.  The best I could hope for now was to save Matt and Janell from any true damage to their home.  But, at least we were going to be able to promote the WOWgirls project and Matt's Elvis character and their other projects.  We'd get something positive out of allowing a television show to disrupt our households and our lives.  At least, I thought we would.

If you recall, the only thing I did not want touched was my very expensive, Italian fruitwood desk and chair which cost over $5,000, and the only thing Janell did not want changed was the green color on her walls.  Oh, and I also said I did not want any pink color in the room. Did they listen?  Hmmmmm....

Outside, in the street in front of Matt and Janell's home (pictured above) was the carpenter's area.  Everything had been taken out of the office being redesigned and shelving was being cut for a bookcase.

Inside their garage, a sewing station had been fashioned by moving stored items out of the way to make room for a large table and sewing machine.  A catering station was set up in their back yard.

Meanwhile, back at our own home, all of the same stations were set up in our large driveway and back yard.  But, my home was taken over in nearly every room.

Some of the crew in my kitchen.

The crew beginning work on my office.

I cannot find some of the photos I took of the goings on at Matt and Janell's home because they did not get transferred from my old cell phone.  But, I will try to describe things to you to the best of my ability.

Janell is a neat freak and one of the things she hated most about their office was the clutter of papers and such.  So, I had a HUGE shock coming to me when I learned of the proposed design for their room!!!!

Back at my home, Matt and Janell were also going through the shakes when they learned that my fragile, Italian glass chandelier in my guest room was going to be taken down and moved into the office.  Oh, and my chandelier is PINK...

The Trading Spaces designer, star and crew member taking down my chandelier.

It gets worse...much, much worse.  Who got their finger glued to a desk and was stuck there for over an hour?  Who got high off of varnish fumes?  For the answers to these questions and to find out what happened to our offices, stay tuned for Part 3!

A Hard-Rocked Life ( The story of a transgendered rock singer)

A Hard-Rocked Life:
SexCHANGE, Drugs and Rock-n-Roll

A tortured soul takes a dark journey through drugs, suicide attempts and the life of a rock star.

Tempering his hidden desire to be a women whilst portraying that false bravado expected in the world of rock-n-roll, Mark Free lived a remarkable dual existence.

Through decades of stellar performances with noted rock icons, opening for legendary bands such as KISS, recording the film theme song for “Iron Eagle” starring Louis Gossett Jr.,  having music videos on MTV and VH-1, having numerous national jingles on the air, being sought after as the premier demo singer in LA and having some of those demos become bootlegged hits in Europe,  Mark battled with gender dysphoria.

After two failed marriages and a near-fatal drug overdose, Mark dropped out of the music world and moved from L.A. back to his home in Michigan.

There, he found the support of his siblings and took a nine-to-five job with a mortgage company.

Gender counseling along with psychiatric drugs, AA and faith in God, led Mark to make the most important decision of his life; to undergo gender transformation surgery.

Mark Edward Free became Marcie Michelle Free. 

Feeling comfortable in her new skin, Marcie also found a new strength in God’s love.  For the first time in her life, she felt worthy to share her music with the world.  Within days of this spiritual shift, Marcie received news that her old band, “Unruly Child,” had been offered a record deal with Frontiers Records in Italy.  She knew it was destiny and a second chance to find her rightful place in both music and this world.

The new CD, “Worlds Collide” is now moving up numerous charts.  “Unruly Child” will begin touring festivals in October 2011, beginning with “Firefest” in Nottingham, England.

Marcie’s first wife, Heidi, has always remained a dear friend and confidante.  Together, they have written this screenplay of her life.



Check out the Unruly Child web site at:  www.unrulychild.net  to hear some music!


(Stay tuned for more personalized stories and keep up with our current journey by joining this blog as a "follower."  Just join google and then press the "follow" link.  See you soon!)

Trading Spaces: Elvis versus Cher (Part 1)

The photo above shows from left to right, Janell and Matt Lewis, 

(from Trading Spaces:  Doug Wilson, Paige Davis, Hildi Santo Tomas) Heidi Thompson, Gene Sironen. 

When I was called to be on a TV reality show called, "Trading Spaces," I thought it might be a kick.  I also thought it would be a great way to promote my newest entertainment project, The WOWgirls, a sexy cowgirl dance troupe.  I was right on one account.

Trading Spaces wanted to do a themed show based on impersonators.  I suggested they get Matt Lewis, the "Elvis" from the Legends in Concert show here in Las Vegas.  Matt is a star in his own right and would surely be great for the show!  Plus, his gorgeous wife, Janell, is a dancer/choreographer that was working with me on the WOWgirls project.  There could not a more perfect couple to trade spaces with me and my wonderful husband, Gene Sironen.

The trucks pulled up to our respective houses.   Soon, my bedroom was decorated with stacks of metal production cases.  I might add that they did not lay a protective cloth down first, which gave me concern for my marble floor.  But, they were pretty cool about it, so I proceeded on faith that all would go well.

The room chosen to be redone in both homes was our offices.  I was asked if there was anything I would not allow to be changed.  I answered "YES! My desk!"  I have this very expensive, very ornate carved Italian fruitwood desk with a marble top.  The desk with the matching chair retailed for over $5,000.  So, I was adamant that they not change it any way.  I did not take into consideration that they only had $1,000 budget for the entire makeover and it would be extremely hard for them to match the high-end aesthetic of my desk.  I also did not know they were allowed to take items from other rooms in my home and place them in the office.

The crew was busy setting up.  My guest room was now the dressing room for the show's star, Paige Davis.  They took a sofa table from my living room and placed in the guest room for a make-up table.  They did not cover it, which again gave me concern as the top was delicate.  So, I got a towel and placed it over my table.

Now, it was time to trade spaces.  We were sent over to Matt and Janell's home with our suitcases in hand.  There were a few short days in which to complete the tasks ahead.

Gene and I were working with designer, Hildi Santo Tomas.  For those of you who don't watch the show, Hildi is best known for her crazy designs such as placing furniture on the ceiling or covering a wall in straw. 

"I'm a big Cher fan and that's why I asked to do this episode," she told me upon our first meeting.

I knew I had to watch Matt and Janell's back with this obviously eccentric designer at the helm.  But, we were put at ease to learn that designer, Doug Wilson, was working with Matt and Janell on our office.

(Look for Part 2 of this story to follow soon)

Swimming with Sharks

I've seen so many wonderful performers buckle under the thumbs of those drunken with the power to  hire and fire.  I have, myself, allowed personal integrity to be supplanted (taken over) by the quest for financial survival.

Artistic souls eternally yearn for that glorious carrier beam (vehicle) wherein they can provide their own light.  This aesthetic urge to create is of such magnitude,  it manifests like an addiction to hard drugs.  We are addicted to our art and search constantly for our next performance "fix."

Those who can provide that next fix will do so in one of two ways.  Either they will honor and showcase the performer's gifts with respect, or they will manipulate the performer to move under their selfish and oppressive thumbs.  Although I am sure it exists, I have not seen much of a middle ground.  The pendulum most always swings to one side or the other.

In the impersonator world, there are very few seas in which to swim.  Some are filled with dolphins  and some of them are filled with sharks.  I prefer the dolphins, or at least a mixture of the two.  But where the sharks are left to swim alone, the waters become muddied and bloodied by the motivation of vested interests (those with personal stakes).

How do you recognize a shark if all you've seen is a fin?  Easy.  Throw out some shark food and see if they bite.  If I see a suspicious fin, I simply talk to the person about my suspicions.  If there is a shark under that fin, it will attack with blame, accusation and forceful denial.  You will forever be on their enemy list, which is why people are so fearful of sharks.   But, if there isn't a true shark under that fin...or even if there's just a baby shark, you will not get your head bitten off.  You will get a conversation with the true intention to clear things up.

This is workable most of the time.  However, there is something much, much worse than even a shark.  It's a shark who pretends to be a dolphin.  These types are rare, evil and deadly.  They are difficult to catch because they are cunning enough to con everyone around them into believing they are indeed, dolphins.  It takes specialized training to recognize and expose these types.   Even with this training, you are subject to the rest of the group who will not believe you.  You will most likely become the enemy because you have challenged a "dolphin."

So, if you find yourself having to swim with the sharks, inevitably you'll be faced with compromising your own integrity to some degree.  Of course, it will depend upon how much integrity you brought to the table in the first place.  Unfortunately, it's a hazard of the biz.  But, if your integrity should get pushed downward so low where you're losing yourself, please go back upon the shore and decide if it is worth giving up your own soul.

Security does not come from your job or your friends or your bank account.  Security comes from within and from the confidence in your own ability to survive despite the circling sharks.

Artists are the dreamers, the visionaries, the builders of future worlds.  If we allow ourselves to be controlled by those with evil intent, we lend our power toward a downward spiral for all.

Little Red Riding Impersonators and the Big, Bad Wolf

I heard something that was said by a "wolf in sheep's clothing" yesterday regarding impersonators.  He said we were all babies, he doesn't care about our show and that we basically don't work that hard for our money.

Normally, I would let words like that just roll off my back because they are childish and naive.  However, this particular "wolf" (Let's call him "Wolfie") happens to be managing an impersonator show.  That's like hiring a babysitter who hates kids!

Let's first discuss Wolfie's concept that impersonators do not work hard for their money, shall we?  For corporate events, I have opened for several real celebrities in my over twenty years of perfecting the "Cher" act.  During that time, I was made privy to the salaries of some real celebrities such as Jay Leno, who performed  a twenty minute stand-up act for $100,000 and the real Cher, who performed a one-nighter for one-million.

Artists are like diamonds.  The more rare and desired, the more the cost.

So, let's explore the world of impersonators from that perspective.  There may be thousands of impersonators out there who put on costumes and try to perform like the real celebrity.  But, when you want someone who is a dead-ringer in the looks, sound and mannersisms of a real celebrity, and who is a great performer to boot, well....WE ARE RARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to think that impersonators just didn't have enough talent in their own right, so they stepped into the role of somebody else in order to get work.  But, when I was offered three times the salary I was making as a lounge singer to go and perform in a show as "Cher," I was shocked at the degree of difficulty I encountered in trying to duplicate the real star.

Figuring out how to do my wig and make-up was the first step.  You should see my early Cher pictures.  Cute, but not spot on at all.  Then, there was costuming.  I wasted three-thousand dollars on my first round of costumes because they did not work.  Not only do the costumes have to be "Cher-like," but they have to allow for movement and singing and even quick-changes.

Next, came the singing voice.  I had to manipulate my throat in order to muffle the sound.  I had make my vocal cords not go together tightly so that they'd create a sort-of froggie flip sound.  I had to learn how do a faster vibrato because hers shakes quite rapidly.  I had to learn how to pronounce words like "love" and "time" with that interesting accent she somehow got from California!

The speaking voice was next.  Man, that was a hard mountain to climb.  But, I got it down.  Her movements were pretty simple; a pushing back of the hair, a sway of the tongue over the teeth, a hand bent in front, some skipping and of course, some antagonistic takes to the audience whenever I'd make a witty remark.

Oh, speaking of witty remarks, I had to develop an entire comedy routine based upon getting someone out of the audience.  So, in 1989, I decided to get a guy out of the audience, put a "Sonny" wig on his head and do an improvised comedy routine wherein I sang "I Got You Babe" with him.  I developed jokes, comebacks, and basically used my comedic talents to make this part of my act the highlight.

In fact, I now see most of the real female Cher acts out there copying ME by doing the comedy bit I created!  How funny is that?  They even use the very lines I worked so hard to develop.  But, I figure that I am copying someone too, (the real Cher), so what's the difference?  LOL!

Over the past few decades, I've done almost everything a person can do as an impersonator.  I've starred in the biggest shows, I've appeared on numerous TV shows, I was featured in a book about the real Cher, I toured with TV Land to promote the network when it premiered, I've given workshops, helped other impersonators, performed for charity shows and the list goes on.

I've gotten my look down so well that on Cher's birthday this year, a Yahoo News story mistakenly placed a picture of ME in between three other pictures of Cher!  How's that for a compliment!

I also won an award given to impersonators at an annual convention called the "Reel Awards."  The award was a "Lifetime Achievement Award."

So, Wolfie, the next time you think we impersonators are making too much money for our twenty minutes on stage, or that we are somehow not worthy of your admiration, think about how much time, effort and talent goes into being one of the top celebrity impersonators IN THE WORLD!  You were fortunate enough to be placed in a position to help cultivate a show filled with the best of the best.  Instead of appreciating the rare and fine diamonds placed in your charge, you pushed them aside as a necessary evil and placed them on a shelf below that of your own "gems."

You are an extremely talented artist in your own right, Wolfie.  But, that does not give you free reign to squash the very lifeblood of the theater under your care.  You had an opportunity to create something magical.  You could have had your own dreams too, had you not placed the impersonators in an enemy position to your own goals. 

And such is the lesson contained herein.  Respect the talents of others.  Don't be a wolf so hungry for your own success, that you eat away at the success of others.   For a candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.  But, the world is dimmed to the degree that you blow another out.  In Wolfie's case, he not only tried to blow out the impersonator's candles, but in doing so, he did not leave enough light for his own dreams to be realized.