Little Red Riding Impersonators and the Big, Bad Wolf

I heard something that was said by a "wolf in sheep's clothing" yesterday regarding impersonators.  He said we were all babies, he doesn't care about our show and that we basically don't work that hard for our money.

Normally, I would let words like that just roll off my back because they are childish and naive.  However, this particular "wolf" (Let's call him "Wolfie") happens to be managing an impersonator show.  That's like hiring a babysitter who hates kids!

Let's first discuss Wolfie's concept that impersonators do not work hard for their money, shall we?  For corporate events, I have opened for several real celebrities in my over twenty years of perfecting the "Cher" act.  During that time, I was made privy to the salaries of some real celebrities such as Jay Leno, who performed  a twenty minute stand-up act for $100,000 and the real Cher, who performed a one-nighter for one-million.

Artists are like diamonds.  The more rare and desired, the more the cost.

So, let's explore the world of impersonators from that perspective.  There may be thousands of impersonators out there who put on costumes and try to perform like the real celebrity.  But, when you want someone who is a dead-ringer in the looks, sound and mannersisms of a real celebrity, and who is a great performer to boot, well....WE ARE RARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to think that impersonators just didn't have enough talent in their own right, so they stepped into the role of somebody else in order to get work.  But, when I was offered three times the salary I was making as a lounge singer to go and perform in a show as "Cher," I was shocked at the degree of difficulty I encountered in trying to duplicate the real star.

Figuring out how to do my wig and make-up was the first step.  You should see my early Cher pictures.  Cute, but not spot on at all.  Then, there was costuming.  I wasted three-thousand dollars on my first round of costumes because they did not work.  Not only do the costumes have to be "Cher-like," but they have to allow for movement and singing and even quick-changes.

Next, came the singing voice.  I had to manipulate my throat in order to muffle the sound.  I had make my vocal cords not go together tightly so that they'd create a sort-of froggie flip sound.  I had to learn how do a faster vibrato because hers shakes quite rapidly.  I had to learn how to pronounce words like "love" and "time" with that interesting accent she somehow got from California!

The speaking voice was next.  Man, that was a hard mountain to climb.  But, I got it down.  Her movements were pretty simple; a pushing back of the hair, a sway of the tongue over the teeth, a hand bent in front, some skipping and of course, some antagonistic takes to the audience whenever I'd make a witty remark.

Oh, speaking of witty remarks, I had to develop an entire comedy routine based upon getting someone out of the audience.  So, in 1989, I decided to get a guy out of the audience, put a "Sonny" wig on his head and do an improvised comedy routine wherein I sang "I Got You Babe" with him.  I developed jokes, comebacks, and basically used my comedic talents to make this part of my act the highlight.

In fact, I now see most of the real female Cher acts out there copying ME by doing the comedy bit I created!  How funny is that?  They even use the very lines I worked so hard to develop.  But, I figure that I am copying someone too, (the real Cher), so what's the difference?  LOL!

Over the past few decades, I've done almost everything a person can do as an impersonator.  I've starred in the biggest shows, I've appeared on numerous TV shows, I was featured in a book about the real Cher, I toured with TV Land to promote the network when it premiered, I've given workshops, helped other impersonators, performed for charity shows and the list goes on.

I've gotten my look down so well that on Cher's birthday this year, a Yahoo News story mistakenly placed a picture of ME in between three other pictures of Cher!  How's that for a compliment!

I also won an award given to impersonators at an annual convention called the "Reel Awards."  The award was a "Lifetime Achievement Award."

So, Wolfie, the next time you think we impersonators are making too much money for our twenty minutes on stage, or that we are somehow not worthy of your admiration, think about how much time, effort and talent goes into being one of the top celebrity impersonators IN THE WORLD!  You were fortunate enough to be placed in a position to help cultivate a show filled with the best of the best.  Instead of appreciating the rare and fine diamonds placed in your charge, you pushed them aside as a necessary evil and placed them on a shelf below that of your own "gems."

You are an extremely talented artist in your own right, Wolfie.  But, that does not give you free reign to squash the very lifeblood of the theater under your care.  You had an opportunity to create something magical.  You could have had your own dreams too, had you not placed the impersonators in an enemy position to your own goals. 

And such is the lesson contained herein.  Respect the talents of others.  Don't be a wolf so hungry for your own success, that you eat away at the success of others.   For a candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.  But, the world is dimmed to the degree that you blow another out.  In Wolfie's case, he not only tried to blow out the impersonator's candles, but in doing so, he did not leave enough light for his own dreams to be realized.